"He's not a hero. He's just a father, just a parent, doing the same stuff I do every week."
Chloe Sexton owns a Memphis, Tennessee–based bakery called BluffCakes. She is also the mother of a 6-month-old named Theodore and the bonus mom to a 7-year-old named Mason.
So, Chloe knows all too well the challenges that come with mothering and running a business simultaneously. However, after a recent experience she had where her husband helped her out with part of her daily routine, she was inspired to call out what she refers to as "daddy privilege":
"Daddy privilege" is a term used when men experience praise for doing the normal duties that are expected of parents.
"I've got a fun, little story about 'daddy privilege.' You all know if you've been following me for a while that I'm a business owner. My husband has a job. I have a business, my husband has a job. Could not make that any clearer, right? Well, my bakery requires that we buy certain wholesale ingredients at this place called Restaraunt Depot every week. You've seen me do videos of it before where I'm like wearing him (Theodore) or was massively pregnant buying 400 pounds of flour and 100 pounds of butter and that's a weekly thing. The list goes on and on, like — it's a lot," she says in her TikTok.
She continues, "So, last week, on the day I usually do it, my husband had the day off and he decided to go do it for me, but he also had the baby that day. When I tell you, the way that this man was treated like a hero — A HERO. Mind you, those same people see me there every single week. I was recognized by one of the cashiers. She's like, 'Hey do you have a TikTok?' 'Yeah, yeah I do...'"
"I'm strapped up with a baby or seven months pregnant, hauling 100-pound bags at a time of flour in the back of my Subaru. Meanwhile, I'm getting a whole lotta...NOTHING TO SEE HERE. Just a woman doing woman things, busting her ass. But my husband, my husband wears the baby and he goes to restaurant depot for mommy's business and it's, 'Oh my god, look at you! Oh my god, you work so hard.' He [my husband] said, 'Honestly, it was a little bit embarrassing.' Somebody walked past him and said, 'Oh my god, that's a whole ass baby!' Yeah, it's his... He's literally not a hero. He's just a father, just a parent, doing the same shit I do every week," she concluded in the video.
People rushed to the comments to state the obvious:
And there was story after story of moms sharing their first-hand experiences witnessing daddy privilege.
Basically, it's a well-known fact that men who are fathers are often treated like they deserve a medal of honor when they are performing basic parental duties.
BuzzFeed spoke to Chloe who said her husband was the one who told her about his experience of being overly adored the day he helped his wife run the usual errands for her business. "I'm lucky to have a husband/life partner that is a self-proclaimed feminist and outright said, 'Honestly the way they treated me was... embarrassing?' He was in as much shock about how he was treated as I was: TOTALLY NOT SHOCKED. Being married to a man who doesn't need to be taught just how deeply unfair the treatment of men vs. women in parenting roles is can be extremely relieving," she said.
"To give an example of my typical day-to-day as a mother and business owner, this is how it goes: Wake at 6:45 AM, prepare both children, drive to school, wait in the car rider line, drive home, get ready for a day of baking while taking care of the baby, hand him to my childcare for the day, head to my local wholesale source for ingredients, load up hundreds of pounds of butter, sugar, flour, etc., unload, organize, and inventory the ingredients at our commercial kitchen, then spend the following hours producing thousands of giant cookies, clean said commercial kitchen and all hardware and dishes (all while wearing evie pumps off and on), then load the baked cookies carefully sealed and stored into my vehicle to take to our office where they are sealed and shipped, get the baby from my childcare, and the 7-year-old from school, get started on homework, answer emails, care for the baby, cook dinner, manage both bedtimes for the kids, and maybe do some housework before falling into the couch."